It’s a Balancing Act
Creating an optimal work-life balance is a constant challenge for most working adults that few have mastered. Many more have attempted to do so without much success, and most have surrendered to the unbalanced chaos. And most working moms, like myself, tend to fall with the majority. The feelings of guilt, being overwhelmed, and being overextended begin to take over. Even just the idea of a work-life balance for working moms seems nearly impossible.
For me, these feelings have begun to intensify as I get older, and I’m finding that creating an optimal work-life balance has crept up to the top of my “most important things to do” list. But, if you’re like me, I need to figure out where to start when I attempt to tackle this behemoth task. So, I’m here to shed light on this topic while providing some guidance and advice that I have gathered to hopefully get us on our way toward mastering the optimal work-life balance for working moms.
Who am I?
First and foremost, I am a mama to two exceptional children. I just celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary with my best friend, and at the end of 2022, I celebrated my 15th work anniversary. I have an insanely helpful support system and family, some true ride-or-die friends, good health, and an excellent credit score. I have finally found my passion within my professional field, which has fueled my desire to learn and grow in my career. Looking at my life from the 30,000-foot view, it would seem I have it all under control. But the truth is that the daily struggle to manage it all is real.
I feel the constant push and pull from all angles and the internal pressure to ensure that I am present and fully engaged in every aspect of my life. And when this isn’t achievable or realistic, the guilt starts to follow. My personal life is essential, and so is my career life. I want to be the cool, loving mom and the empowering boss-lady, the fun, carefree wife and the fearless leader, the funny, loyal friend, and the respected, reliable colleague. But HOW is it possible to be everywhere and everything all the time?
Here’s the Situation
My goal is to create a harmonious daily lifestyle that appeases my career and personal life. And, while I do a good job balancing as much as I can some days, I strive to do an excellent job for most days. I have talked endlessly about this topic with friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers and concluded that most working moms struggle with the juggle to some degree. I’m not alone in the quest for creating balance. This journey has shown me that there is no correct answer, but instead, there are many ways to dominate the work-life balance for working moms.
“Moms are expected to excel at their career and appear as though they are not raising children, while also are expected to excel at raising children and appear as though they don’t have a career.”
Andrea
Some Real Advice
No, I don’t have the perfect formula for the work-life balance for working moms equation quite figured out. However, I have gathered five core pieces of advice and inspiration from a group of working moms in hopes of helping others master their work-life balance. So, if you can relate to any of this, I encourage you to read on for some honest advice that you can put into action.
Note: The perspectives and advice presented below are based on responses I gathered from a survey of 60 working moms and are in no particular order.
1. Set Boundaries
Since the pandemic and the move for most businesses to allow some form of remote work options, the lines between work and home have become blurred. As a result, it’s become easier for us to and sometimes even expected of us to work beyond our scheduled hours because work is now more accessible to employees, and employees are directly more accessible to work.
To help combat being overworked or developing unrealistic and unwanted expectations, you need to set boundaries with your employer about your working hours. Establishing these clear lines will provide a clear break for you to turn work off so you can be present and engaged when you are home. For example, it’s helpful to shut down your computer at the end of your workday and let emails wait until the morning.
“To ensure my colleagues respect my time, I place my out-of-office message on every day at the end of my workday until 7:00 a.m. the next day. I found this also helps me to feel less guilty for not tending to the matter at that time because they are getting an immediate response from me.”
Melissa
2. Utilize a Calendar
Creating a calendar for work and home is a helpful way to visualize and organize upcoming events and activities. They are an excellent tool for planning and scheduling the time needed for even the most minor tasks. For example, blocking time on your work calendar to get up from your desk and take a walk or to clear out emails will help you feel accomplished. Placing calendars in frequently viewed places will help you keep upcoming things in the forefront but can also serve as a motivator for something to look forward to.
“Using a calendar to schedule and plan things is a huge stress reliever. I block time throughout my day at work so meetings don’t get scheduled, and I can get things done. And at home, I put a big calendar on the fridge, so the entire family knows when and what we have going on. It truly helps.”
Ashley
3. Create Checklists and Prioritize Daily
As mentioned previously, with the continuous pull in multiple directions between our work and home lives, our to-do lists increase exponentially. One of the top provided answers for how to manage the work-life balance for working moms was to create a daily checklist of tasks for home and work as part of their morning routine. It is then recommended to rank those to-do items from what must be done to what could be done. As your day progresses and you check items off your list, new things are bound to be added, so it is important to re-analyze your list halfway through and at the end of your day. Re-evaluate to see what tasks remain and what will need to be added to your list the following day. It’s important to realize that most will stay if you have a list with a million tasks. Therefore, it is best to create lists and only focus on that day so you don’t become overwhelmed with items that don’t need immediate attention.
“I create a checklist with must-do items vs. can-do, so I don’t perseverate on getting it all done, and that helps to easily switch my focus from work-life to home life.”
Danielle
4. Develop a Support System
Most have heard the saying, “it takes a village,” referring to how one manages life’s many obstacles or keeps things balanced. While it certainly may take collaborative effort and support from a large group of people for some, a sound support system can be as small as one person. Support comes from different people and places, but any sound support system should provide you with the comfort and assurance of knowing there is reliable help and advice for you to leverage when needed. Support in any form is necessary for creating a work-life balance for working moms.
“Have at least one person who can relate to your situation. You can vent to each other, which will help to relieve stress from work and your family alike.”
Cayt
5. Press Pause
The notion of ‘pressing pause’ was one of the most common pieces of advice I received when asked about creating a work-life balance for working moms and one of the most valuable. Too often, we take on more things than we can handle, say yes more times when we should say no, and push aside our needs for someone else’s, and the extras suddenly pile up, making us feel so overextended that we shut down. But before we get to this point, we need to learn how to press pause. This applies to all aspects of your home life and your work life. This pause could be big or small, like taking a 30-minute break and going for a walk, using a personal day to do something mindless, proposing a later time for a meeting, saying no to an extracurricular activity for your kids, turning your phone off, or even meditating.
Sometimes we don’t even realize it’s too much before it just is too much. So, take a minute and press pause. Then, re-center yourself, align your priorities, and get back out there.
“If you need time, take it, no matter what the situation is, because sometimes even a minute can make all the difference to get you back on track.”
Kelly
A Comfortable Balance
In my conversations and reading through survey responses from working moms, it became evident that the ideal work-life balance for working moms is different for everyone. Sure, there are some commonalities and core areas we identify with more when we think about balance. However, there is not one magic formula you can apply that will solve it all, and that’s OKAY. We need to do the best we can with what we’ve got. Some days we will be completely unhinged, and others will be perfectly aligned, and that’s OKAY. Remember, when the pendulum swings too far one way or the other, stay calm, remain in control, and apply what you can to help create a balance that YOU are comfortable with.
