Hey guys! Meeting new people is one of the great things about college, and meeting other young men from different parts of the world is exciting. You are now realizing that you miss the guys from high school and want to make friends at college, where everyone seems different and foreign. Do not worry! Here is your ultimate guide to help you branch out and make some new friends with other guys your age.

Stepping outside your comfort zone is the first step to making friends

As you may have realized within the first few hours on campus, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and out of place, after all, your whole environment from maybe the last 18 years is now gone. Your sleep schedule, eating habits, room, everything you took for granted since childhood is different now, and it is natural for you to want to stay in your dorm and binge-watch The Office to avoid feeling nervous. You are experiencing what psychology defines as fight-or-flight, basically your mind is having trouble processing stress and is triggering retreat behaviors to get past the stress. We have all been there, but as hard as it may feel you cannot meet people by isolating yourself. Accept your qualms, then do small things to break any tendencies that are keeping you from meeting people. Go for a walk or jog, read in the library, play upbeat music, anything that breaks any previous conditioning that may be growing on you and cause you to seclude yourself. Once you disrupt those tendencies and behavior patterns, congrats, you just matured a little! Now you are more prepared for other ways to meet

Strategic places in college to meet other guys

So now you’ve made it past your dorm’s doorway, try to get to know your neighbors. Go to the first few rooms closest to you, try to look for any open doors but if not, go ahead and knock. Introduce yourself as their neighbor for the year, ask questions about them, like where they’re from or what they are studying. Open-ended questions are better at getting people to open up more, plus your conversations will feel more meaningful. During move-in day offer to help people bring stuff into their dorms, and on the flip side of that, don’t be afraid to ask someone to lend a helping hand, it’s a great icebreaker. 

Do not limit yourself to your floor, you have classes as well. Your in-major classes are great for finding other guys with similar interests or career goals as yourself, plus offer plenty of shared knowledge to discuss. When you get to classes (and please go to classes, it’s often an easy way to boost your grade) don’t just bury yourself in your laptop, listen to what guys are saying. 

Questions about the course material or recent sporting events are conversations you can join without seeming awkward, basically anything that we would consider public domain, such as pop culture stories or anything from the news or school bulletins. Classes around lunchtime are an even better way to make friends, since a conversation can be continued in the dining hall when you all instinctively go together. 

Another advantage of shared classes is shared deadlines, which incentivize collaboration and comradery amongst strangers. See if you can join a study group, which are usually very welcoming (more people mean more knowledge) or start your own. Email your professor for extra help to get people to sign up, most professors love it when students collaborate because that is a skill necessary for the working world. 

One underrated strategic place for meeting dudes is at your college’s welcome week. Almost every college has one, even for commuter students, and for a good reason: most of you are strangers in a new place and a fun few days filled with music and adrenaline are great ways to break the ice. Orientation is great too, but so much information gets thrown at you it is sometimes difficult to step back and enjoy the ride. Prioritize your welcome week as a social event rather than an obligation, and be ready and eager to share Snapchat handles with your new classmates so you don’t forget names!

Clubs and activities in college

One great thing about college is that in a student body of hundreds if not thousands of other people from various walks of life some common interest or hobby you share will be shared by someone else. College clubs and organizations can be great outlets for you to branch out over a common interest with other guys that share that interest. Clubs often get overlooked due to everyone talking about joining frats, but there are plenty of good reasons not to join. There are people who look forward to wasting a week pledging to impress people they pay to be friends with, but that doesn’t have to be you. Your individuality should be celebrated, frats will not do that for you.

Every college has a registered list of clubs and activities, from religious or ethnic clubs, political clubs, outreach groups, even gaming groups like DnD. Take a look through them or plan on going to the club fair where they will all be looking to expand. And if you don’t see one that you were looking for, start one! Email professors to see if they would be interested in being your advisor or if they know someone who might be interested and let them help you with recruiting. 

Miss playing sports but didn’t necessarily get recruited for your athletic prowess? Join a rec team or try out for your school’s club team. Most rec leagues also accept free agents, so if you don’t have enough friends for a team join someone else might need an extra body, just be sure to pass the ball around and be a good team player and you will do fine (as a side note, every team needs a villain, just ask any NHL team. If your team is getting muscled around you will get instant respect from the guys as the enforcer, no need to get ejected every game but stand up for your buddies and stand up for them, although this strategy won’t work well in tennis and volleyball).

Miscellaneous tips

• Do not compromise yourself to make friends. Be confident in who you are; if you need to sacrifice your morals or beliefs for friends, then those are not real friends
• You do not have to get along with everyone, and not everyone will get along with you. Accept people for who they are and move on. Some dudes are jerks and you can’t change that.
• Your program almost always will have a LinkedIn/Facebook page where announcements can be made. Join it! You find out about events and can connect with other guys.
• Hygiene is a priority. Maybe in high school you could get by with showering every now and then, but you’re an adult now, and no one wants to be friends with people who stink no matter how nice they are. Shower regularly (and take advantage of times others aren’t showering to guarantee you will have hot water), brush and floss your teeth, use deodorant. Having clean laundry is another must, believe me, people will know you forgot to wash your socks; they might look clean, but they definitely won’t smell clean,
• Be the change you want to see. See someone eating alone all the time? Ask to sit with them and try to enter their world a little. If someone in your classes looks lonely, reach out, being nice is free yet priceless. 
• Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Your school has free resources such as therapists or emotional support specialists for you. If you need to talk to someone or are afraid to open up about your problems, they are a trusted source and will respect your confidentiality. Your professors are also trained to offer you support if you need it, there is always hope, don’t give up!

Best of luck to all of you in school, I hope this site offers you helpful information and I hope you make some great new friends with the other guys in your college!