Imagine a world of vibrant colors, bustling streets filled with the sound of a language you love, and the comforting scent of food that carries memories of home. For me, that language was Tagalog, or my parent’s dialect of Bikol, and my favorite culinary scents of Bangus (fried milkfish) and Lumpia (sweet and crunchy pork-filled spring rolls). This was my world when I was born in Manila, Philippines in November of 1996 before my family made the move and I had the experiences of being an immigrant in America.  

As an immigrant, my journey has been filled with both sunshine and unexpected storms. It’s made me question the idea of the American Dream, but it’s also shown me the incredible strength and resilience of the human spirit.  Join me as I share my story, explore data that sheds light on what it’s like to be an immigrant in America, and hopefully open your eyes to a perspective you might not have considered before.

• Life Before Becoming an Immigrant in America
• Making the Big Move
• Adapting to the American Public School System as an Immigrant
• Representation in the Media
• Facing Anti-Immigrant Racism First-hand
• Growing and Healing from the Immigrant Experience in America
• How Being an Immigrant in America Shaped Me Today
• Is the American Dream Alive for Immigrants?

Life Before Becoming an Immigrant in America

My life before becoming an immigrant in America was full of love, laughter, and traditions that warmed my heart.  The sights, sounds, and smells of my homeland were like a warm blanket wrapped around me.  I was just a toddler and an only child.  But since my mom came from a family of three and my dad came from a family of five, I had plenty of Pinsans (Cousins) and Titos and Titas (Uncles and Aunts) around me that were my community in the Philippines as my parents always fostered strong family ties in my values. 

In doing this, they also took me on many vacations around the Philippines, exploring and traveling the famous beaches of Boracay, and even taking me to other Asian countries like Hong Kong and Singapore.  Asian culture, landscapes, and food were all I had known and grown up with for the first four years of my life so leaving this on top of all of our family behind was a daunting journey.

Being an immigrant in America wasn’t just about chasing economic opportunities; it was about building a future for ourselves and our families. A 2023 survey by the KFF in partnership with the LA Times found that the top reasons immigrants choose to come to the US include better economic and job opportunities (75%), a better future for their children (68%), better educational opportunities (62%), joining family members (42%), and escaping violence or persecution (31%).  These statistics paint a picture of individuals and families driven by a desire for a better life, a life that may not have been possible in their home countries. 

For my family, it was a mix of all of the aforementioned.  My father had already completed his J.D. Degree in the Philippines and was looking to continue his higher law education by completing an L.L.M. Degree.  After being accepted into the prestigious Temple University Law Program in Philadelphia, he immigrated and lived there with his Uncle for about two years before my mom and I also immigrated and joined him.  Not only did my parents take the leap to better their own careers, but they knew they wanted a better life for me as well.  Not to mention reuniting our family was a top priority in deciding to make the jump.

Making the Big Move

The decision to become an immigrant in America was a big one. My family and I came with a suitcase full of dreams and hearts full of hope.  We were told about the amazing opportunities America offered, a chance for a better life, which my dad was already first and foremost experiencing.  According to the Pew Research Center, immigrants make up a whopping 14% of the US population. That’s a significant portion of the country shaped by the experiences and dreams of people who chose to build a new life here.

The arrival itself was a whirlwind of emotions. New sights and sounds bombarded our senses. Not to mention the fact that we immigrated in October of 2001, right after 9/11, which resulted in extremely heightened security processes going through the airport and making it more difficult than before to enter American borders. 

The 2023 KFF survey also states that half of all immigrants have limited English proficiency and half among this group have faced language barriers in a variety of settings and interactions.  Luckily, we were taught English heavily in the Philippines and most Filipinos speak English well for the fact that it is not our first language so that is not a hurdle we had to manage.  But for an immigrant in America who does have to go through this, this must also be a huge barrier.

Adapting to the American Public School System as an Immigrant

School was one of the biggest adjustments. Everything was different – adapting to other American children’s culture, learning the Pledge of Allegiance, and the meals they served at the cafeteria.  At first, I felt lost and alone.

Although I was well-versed in speaking English, there were times when I remember getting made fun of for the way I pronounced certain words because that was how I always heard my parents pronouncing them.  But keeping in mind that they had a thick Filipino accent was not in my favor as this translated when I would repeat the same pronunciation to my American friends.

Another big moment I remember struggling with was the smallest sense of identity in my name.  In traditional Filipino culture, we have four names: your first name usually consists of two names that your parents give you (mine was Denise Paola), your middle name is your mother’s maiden name (mine was Ajero), and your last name is your family name from your father (mine was Carino).  As a little girl in elementary school who just wanted to fit in, I was always ashamed of the “Paola” in my name and adjusted it to fit normal American naming conventions telling people that it was my middle name, instead of my second first name, and completely erasing my true middle name, “Ajero.” Not only did I do that, but I would pronounce it the American way, “Paula”, to avoid any chances of being ridiculed for my culture.

On top of this, the biggest cultural aspect I struggled with were “Lunch Box moments” as they have now been coined. Christina Pae from King 5 News reports on “Lunch Box moments” and describes them as when a child brings a lunch packed by their parents at home – a dish from their cultural background, and when they open their lunch box they are ashamed of what’s there.  These were truly some of the most embarrassing moments for me growing up, being ashamed of the way the food that my dad went out of his way every day to pack for me smelled or looked because my peers would make comments when they would see it in my lunchbox. 

All of these instances made me embarrassed of being an immigrant in America, resenting my culture and suppressing it just for the sake of fitting in.  Especially as a child who didn’t know much about the world or that this is what it entailed to be an immigrant in America, it was very hard to comprehend and work through.  It is my one hope that children in the future never have to experience these things at their young ages, no matter what cultures or backgrounds they come from.

Representation in the Media/Media Influences

Everywhere I looked, on TV and in movies, America seemed like a place where everyone looked the same and spoke the same language. It felt like there wasn’t a place for someone like me.  This only added to the feeling of isolation I was already experiencing.  A 2021 report from Nielsen found that Asians only have a 6.5% share of screen time on TV.  Furthermore, Southeast Asians like me, make up 1.78% of the population and only get 0.74% of screen time on TV.  This lack of representation can make it difficult for an immigrant in America to see themselves reflected in the stories they consume.

The media plays a powerful role in shaping our perceptions of the world. When an immigrant in America is constantly portrayed in stereotypical ways, it can create a sense of “otherness” and contribute to feelings of isolation.  However, there is a growing movement towards more diverse representation in media.  More and more films and television shows are featuring characters from immigrant backgrounds, telling stories that reflect the richness and complexity of what it’s like to be an immigrant in America. 

This is something I feel very passionately about because if my eight-year-old self who felt so embarrassed about who she was or where she came from had more representation within American media, maybe she would have a little more pride and would have the idea that if they can look up to someone who looks like me, then I can demand that respect as well.  America is supposed to be a “melting pot” of cultures which should be reflected in our media as well.

Facing Anti-Immigrant Racism First-hand

Unfortunately, being different comes with a price.  Experiencing racism first-hand and blatantly was an experience I will never forget.  The KFF survey reports that one in three immigrants have experienced anti-immigrant harassment since moving to the U.S. and of this, 33% have been told that they should “go back to where you came from.”

I unfortunately had these very same comments made towards me which resulted in Daily Mail writing an article about the occurrence after it went viral on TikTok.  In New York City, a lady was spewing hateful comments to me saying, “Asian b****es are ugly,” and “You’re an ugly little Mexican, or Hawaiian, or Chinese, whatever you are…” Especially in such a progressive city and in this day and age, I did not ever think that something like this would happen to me. But instances like this underscore the harsh reality that being an immigrant in America faces, despite coming here in search of a better life.

Growing and Healing from the Immigrant Experience in America

Those experiences were tough, but they also made me stronger.  I learned to stand up for myself and embrace the things that made me unique.  Luckily enough, when the aforementioned event in the Daily Mail article happened to me, I was already very secure in who I was and was not as affected by it as I would have been when I was eight years old and very insecure about my Lunch Box moments.  I found other immigrant kids who understood what I was going through, and slowly, I started to feel like I belonged. 

Being an immigrant in America is full of challenges, but according to a report by Pew Research, Asian Americans lead others in education and income.  Data shows that 49% of Asian Americans aged 25 or older have a Bachelor’s Degree or more and the Asian American median income is higher than all other races at $66k.  Despite the adversities we face, at the end of the day, we are still making successful lives here and are fulfilling the dreams our parents sought for us.  I myself am a product of this, being a first-generation American college undergraduate, now getting my Master’s Degree, all while having a well-paid and stable job in corporate America in New York City. 

How Being an Immigrant in America Shaped Me Today

Today, I’m proud of being an immigrant in America.  It’s crazy to say, but despite moving here when I was just 4 and living my entire life here, I only finally became a US Citizen when I was 19. But my journey has taught me the importance of hard work, resilience, and the power of community. It’s also opened my eyes to the challenges that many immigrants face.  Here are some things I’ve learned:

• The Importance of Cultural Identity: While embracing a new life in America, it’s important to hold onto the traditions and values of your heritage.  Never change or suppress who you are and where you come from in order to fit in because the things that make us unique are what make us stand out. 
• The Power of Perseverance: The immigrant journey is full of obstacles, but with hard work and determination, you can overcome them.
• The Value of Community: Finding a community of people who understand your experiences can be a source of great support and strength.

Is the American Dream Alive for Immigrants?

The answer is complicated. It depends on your definition of success and the opportunities you encounter. The data we explored shows that being an immigrant in America can be challenging, but it’s also filled with resilience, hope, and success.  Many immigrants achieve economic mobility, contribute to their communities, and build a fulfilling life in America.

My story is just one example. There are millions of immigrants in America, each with their own unique journey.  By sharing our stories and learning from each other, we can foster a more welcoming and inclusive society.  Here are some things you can do to be more understanding of immigrants in your community:

• Educate Yourself: Learn about different cultures and the challenges faced by immigrants.
• Challenge Stereotypes: Don’t make assumptions about people based on their background.
• Celebrate Diversity: Embrace the richness that immigrants bring to your community.
• Get Involved: Support organizations that help immigrants integrate and succeed.

The American Dream is an ideal that continues to inspire people from all over the world. While the path may not always be smooth, the stories of immigrants like mine are a testament to the enduring human spirit and the pursuit of a better life.